Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
