He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
