Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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