Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
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