this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
