how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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