I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
