If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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