I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
