fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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