i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
