Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
