Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
