Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
