okay pat passed out under dana's car
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
