So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Randomize
