He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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