I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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