Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Never underestimate the power of titties
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
