hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
