You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
the day after is always just damage control
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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