butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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