This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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