Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
