His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
