So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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