Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
