like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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