I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
