sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I did not marry a roomba.
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