WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
