i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
