Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
