Don't make out with my wife yet
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
