So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Green mimosas i think yes
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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