Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
