Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
