You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
