The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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