You just made me feel so damn special
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Randomize
