Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
