I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
