It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm too high and old for this...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
