How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
