it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
