as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
