Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
