i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My vagina is officially offended.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
