we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
