the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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