Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
