the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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