just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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