i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
